Shame on me for giving this author another shot. It was an attempt to understand WHY IN THE WORLD so many people find her writing compelling. What I’m left with is the simple fact that taste is subjective. That being said, I’m judging allllllll ya’ll.
Lady Luck is the story of Lexie, hairy goof extraordinaire, and Ty, regurgitated KA hero. It opens with Lexie waiting for Ty to be released from prison. Lexie’s got this super sweet ride. Right away I’m thinking: Oh, okay so KA just finished watching some prison drama where someone had a super sweet ride. Got it. Lexie’s under the thumb of some pimp, naturally, which is why a classy person such as herself would even be in the position of giving an ex-con a ride. But then she sees Ty and thinks, “Thanks, Pimp! You old matchmaking pimp!”
Ty is tall. Lexie is taken aback by just how tall he is: “I’d never seen a man that big. He had to be six foot five, six foot six, maybe even taller.” Later on we learn that she dated a man who was destined for the NBA and played college basketball so I seriously doubt it. Her ex, by the way, had some “Hoop dreams. Shit life. Projects. He wanted his mom and sisters seen to, his girl dripping gold. Scholarship yanked and since he was dealing and pimpin’ and ended up doing time for both, he was banned. He was destined for the NBA. Everyone said it.” I can’t even deal with this paragraph with its fucking sentence fragments and wanna-be street slang. It really is worth it to get to know black people outside of your television set, folks! Just makes the biggest difference in whether or not you make a total jackass out of yourself trying to write Black People Problems. It’s not all about drugs and basketball and pimpin’. Jesus. I never thought I’d have to spell that out.
Let’s talk a bit more about Ty, since he’s what brings all the readers to the yard: “He was muscle from neck down, pure, firm, defined muscle.” And in case you didn’t get the memo that this guy has muscles: “…the veins sticking out on his superhumanly muscled forearm…” GROSS!
Then she waxes poetic about his face. To sum it all up: perfection. He’s got scars, which is Romancelandia code for Tortured Badass and some curly eye lashes thrown in which I’m pretty sure is code for Big Ole Puddy Tat. She mentions that “I’d never seen eyes that shape.” They’re described as almond shaped which is definitely code for OMGEXOTIC!!!! Yep, nailed it: “…his skin tone said he was a mutt and that mutt definitely included African-American. There was Caucasian in him, I would guess, but no more than half. His skin was as perfect as the rest of him but dark-toned and not with Italian olive undertones but definitely black.” In all honesty it’s good that she spelled it out because white readers tend to read everyone as white no matter how dark you describe their skin to be. Nope, not like an Italian, most definitely black. Probably. Also, NO MORE THAN HALF?! Who needs Genealogy.com when you’ve got Alexa Anne Berry?!
We find out Ty’s mother is white and his father is black. Ty’s mother is a haggard, racist old bitter bitch bent on making her husband and son’s life a living hell. She tells Lexie two seconds after meeting her: “Two white girls hitched to black men in this county. Me with him,” she jerked her head to the man who was still hanging out at the end of the SUV, “and you and the black half of my son.” Absolutely shameful. You know how racist white women go out of their way to stay married to black men that they can’t stand. And instead of divorcing this haggard, racist old bitter bitch bent on making his life a living hell, Ty’s father decides instead to DRINK HIMSELF TO DEATH. Nope!!!
And of course Lexie is kidnapped by a racist cop at the end of the story, because KA just found out racism exists and can’t do ANYTHING half-assed. I mean, check this out: “…her other hand going into her hair at her forehead, pulling the thick, shining, waving dark mass back, lifting a huge bunch of it at the back of her head and shaking it a couple of times before dropping it only for it to fall into and around her face again, settling on her shoulders and streaming down her back.” That’s just a bit about HAIR. So Lexie gets kidnapped as most white women are when they date black men IN COLORADO and there’s no suspense, no build up, no investigating, black people are just like: “Oh, look for a cabin in the woods where black people are routinely taken to be tortured and everyone knows about it and yet IT HAS NOT BEEN RAZED TO THE GROUND.” Really?! In case you couldn’t figure it out, I despise the way race/racism is used in this story. It’s simply a plot device to create the most drama possible, and there’s no heart, no truth involved here, just outlandishness at every turn. It’s a joke and it makes me furious.
The majority of the “action” of the story happens ON THE PHONE. I can’t…It really bothers me that so many people are into this shit, because besides being offensive, it really is just incredibly stupid. The sex scenes aren’t even sexy, just a lot of over-descriptiveness of where people’s limbs are and how exactly they’re bent along with a liberal use of the word “pussy”. And what is UP with the way KA’s heroes talk?! Those repetitious one word sentences and that seriously wacked pidgin slang makes me feel uneasy. It’s not sexy, it’s not funny, it’s not cute. When Ty says, “Mama. Come here. Kiss.” let me tell you he sounded EXACTLY like my 5 and 3 year old sons. I wonder, THAT’S your romance hero?!
In conclusion: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!